Sleep deprivation and the big 100

Well, here we all are, 4 months of writing and the big 100th blog post. 

I’ve been building myself up to this; the peak! The summit! What topic could possibly be worthy of the big 100?

Mr tMatM at the summit: a tenuous link to my 100th post


But then a teething baby and a newly potty-trained toddler conspired to give me a week of sleep broken into 20minute segments and I felt any powers of vocabulary prowess slowly slip away, so that now I find myself, mid sentence, staring blankly into space and wondering what it was that I meant to say. In other words: not that conducive to anything super profound. 

Let’s just say I’ve been relying pretty heavily on the old Pixi glow primer and piling on the tinted moisturiser to look a little less grey.

As an aside, I did, however, discover instagram which has been a delight – and only about 6 years too late?

Back to the sleep deprivation. And as someone who really needed sleep before children – this was the thing I worried most about when I was pregnant first time around. Opinions from the initiated ranged from It’s fine! to It’s bloody awful! 

7 years in to truly chronic levels of sleep deprivation I can report: it’s totally fine. And by that I mean: if I can survive then you will too.

However: dont expect too much of yourself. If you can manage not to forget your own child’s name then you’re doing better than me, sitting in a cafe with my beautiful 5week old first baby, when a grandmotherly lady asked me what his name was. Errm… I stalled, with only our nickname for my pregnant bump in my head.  Awkward pause. ‘Is he yours?’ she asked, at the same time that I practically shouted his name at her in triumph and relief.

And in case you are worried that this lapse in brain power is a reflection on my mothering: later into the sleepless years, at a walk-in clinic with my 18month old second baby, worried and exhausted, I forgot my own name too. “And what’s mum’s name?” the nurse asked, filling in a form. All I could think of was my own mother’s name. Awkward pauses all round. 

Sleep deprivation has some pretty far reaching consequences.

Don’t do too much. You don’t have to be a hero. Life can be simple for a while. Or, you know, you could decide to move internationally.

Regardless of your location, it’s always a good idea to spend time with other tired people, and this is where toddler groups are an excellent option. Everyone has the same blank look in their eyes. Nothing makes you feel worse when truly exhausted than being with someone abound with energy and fizzing with creative ideas, much like I wouldn’t want to stand next to Kate Moss on the beach. (Or, actually, anywhere)

Step away, Kate

Spend time with people you care about, too, as feeling exhausted does make you prioritize pretty ruthlessly about who is worth putting real clothes on for and making conversation with. 

And… that’s it. Time to get my next 20 minute block of sleep.

100 blog posts – it’s been a pleasure. Thanks for reading!

tMatM x


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