So…are you ever going back to work? And other stupid questions

It’s not like I am immune to asking stupid questions (or poopid, as my 2 year old would say, in an excellent case of vocabulary development and language acquisition)…in fact if I were on, say, Big Brother, and you could view only a limited selection of my dialogue from each day then you could really go to town on making me look like a total idiot (something to worry about at 3am). But really, since I have had children, I do feel like people have asked me more stupid questions, more often than before.

Part of the problem is that my main focus right now is my lovely crew of 4, so people have run out of things to talk about. “So….are you having any more children?” a current fave. When I had a regular job in London people asked me all sorts of interesting things. What did I think about Europe? What should we think about changes in education policy? Let me tell you…! But now, four children down, admittedly my sphere of reference has shrunk somewhat (despite my best efforts to keep on top of the news) and, well, let the stupid questions commence.

I’ll let you into a secret – when my (now) husband and I had our first baby, we WEREN’T MARRIED!!! That’s right, UNMARRIED! I wasn’t sure I was really into the marriage bit – we were happy, we wanted to have a baby, we were having a baby… and – you know – its not the 50s anymore. Somehow though- like the pregnancy language which has remained in some vintage bubble of ‘falling’ pregnant, ‘when’s she due’, – people’s attitudes were similarly retro. My now-husband announced our lucky news to his family and friends: congratulations! Amazing! When’s she due?

I announced our lucky news to family and friends: ‘congratu…are you going to get married?’

(Obviously we did end up getting married a little while after our son was born, although skipping a wedding and secretly eloping to the Caribbean, the most stress free way to get married ever – highly recommend)

Once married, and ever since, the question everyone can’t wait to ask is – are you having MORE children? Maybe! But maybe not! Maybe we will be lucky! Maybe we are too exhausted! Fine for your closest friends to ask but when it’s your local newsagent asking about your ovaries, you know it’s gone too far.